It’s the end of the year and I’m in a bit of a reflective mood these days. And as any W2D reader will tell you, here at The Disco we love a good reflection.
This year was big for me (I know, I said that last year. But this one was big too!) . It taught me a lot and pushed me to investigate more deeply who I am, who I say I am, and all the stuff in between. I haven’t figured it all out yet or found every answer or solved every problem. But that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to make progress, and for me at this moment, I want to take a moment to document what I want to do differently next year based on that progress.
I present to you my 2026 Ins and Outs, along with similarly framed Less/More and Invite/Release concepts.
I've felt insecure about things this year THAT I AIN'T NEVER FELT INSECURE ABOUT IN MY LIFE. For example, I've somehow allowed other people's assumptions to make me question MY OWN INTELLIGENCE. I don’t talk about where I went to school or the education I got or none of that because I don’t think that’s the most interesting thing about me. I’ve noticed that sometimes people assume that I don’t know things or are super insistent about correcting me on things I may get wrong and I’m like….do you think I’m dumb??? And then I’m like…am I dumb? (The answer is no. I’m many things, not all pleasant, but one thing I ain’t never been in this lifetime is dumb or uneducated. Thalia B. and the B stands for big brain. Stop playing with me.)
I’ve allowed people to make me feel small or to intimidate me or to make me feel like my background/education/etc isn’t enough. I know that's not a good look nor a good habit to get into. It sprouted up this year, but we nipping it in the bud immediately.
I’ve longgg had this issue, but we nipping it in the bud too. Sometimes I imagine the absolute worst happening in a scenario so that I’m a little more prepared for what may actually go wrong. But this strategy doesn’t work and it’s literally so harmful for mental health lol. I used to let this ruminations/daydream sessions go on for so long, but I’m practicing just diverting my attention to the reality I face instead of the possibilities I fear.
I got in a nastyyyy habit this year of apologizing or feeling remorse that was not appropriate for the offense or situation. I very slightly harm someone, say I have to cancel a coffee date last minute for a valid reason, but now I feel absolutely horrible as if I stole something from them. I just felt super bad for things that didn’t call for all that. I’m out here responding to a candle with a firehouse instead of just blowing it out because I’m so scared of burning the house down. I’m scared of people hating me or abandoning me lol.
Enough of that, though. This the only life I get to live. I’m not living it walking on egg shells. I’m working to rightsize my remorse while still practicing empathy.
This year taught me that I have a hard time being vulnerable with the people closest to me because I don’t want them to abandon me. Truth is, that’s not even something I actually need to worry about. But the only way for me to know that to be true is to put it in to practice.
Even if it’s not a “failure” exactly, I’m just going to stop feeling like I have to hide things from people that may mar the picture they have of me. The ideal image of me doesn’t matter, though. The truth does. And if I can’t be fr with those closest to me, then I have no chance of being fr with myself.
I’m leaving the phone at home next year on walks. Maybe not super far ones, but at least around the neighborhood. My mama is not a fan of that idea, but how lovely would that be.
I felt the absence of routine in my life super sharply this year. And most of the difficult seasons for me this year could’ve absolutely been at least slightly lighter had I built regulating systems and routines into my life. I want a routine that extends beyond a job, and into a way of how I see, use, and live my days.
Not something rigid, but I’d love to be more intentional about building baseline routines that eventually usher in really meaningful habits and behaviors.
It really is them phones. I’ve made leaps and bounds in decreasing my screen time this year, but I’m excited to make even more progress next year. I can practice and benefit from more restraint with my devices next year.
I just need to continue building on the mindset work I’ve been doing. I’m praying about it, working on it, doing my best to make sure that I’m looking through things with a clear lens.
I got to stop making excuses. Like I don’t know what strategy I need to start employing, but sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to get me to do something that I volunteered and wanted to do. I have got to let this go.
I want more hangouts. More dinners. More movie nights. More open houses. More of my friends, family, and neighbors in my house more often. I love my people and love when we get together.
I want more consistency in my prayer life. I want to sharpen my focus, deepen my relationship with my God, and continue to grow into the praying woman I know I can be.
Strength. Stretching. Mobility. Endurance. Lagree. YouTube stretching videos. Moving around. Walking and biking more. To support the routine goal, I’d love to incorporate a flexible training aspect to that. Less than triathlon training but more than I’m doing now.
I would like to date a person that I like, respect, and am curious about and who also likes, respects, and is curious about me. I am open to that, perhaps more genuinely that I’ve been in the past, and am actively inviting that into my life, which perhaps is vulnerable to even write out loud. But that’s bravery and vulnerability, ain’t it?
Living Single spoiled me thinking that my friends would just be busting in my apartment with food, ready to hang out. Though that’s perhaps not as realistic, what I do hope is that I will create more space in my day and week to confidently invite spontaneity into my life. I wanna text my friend at 3 and ask if they want to go for a walk after work or invite someone for a 7pm casual dinner at noon. I want a little more space to play with in my calendar and will be working on opening that up more.
I pray to buy a 2024 or newer Subaru Crosstrek Sport in 2026. And baby as soon as I do, best believe I’m goin be on that road. I live within a few hours of not one but two national parks. I live in the Appalachian foothills. There are rivers and creeks and brooks and trees and mountains calling my name in almost every direction, with the swamps and the sea calling from the south. I am surrounded by breathtaking nature and dazzling displays of creation. And once I have a safe vehicle to transport me in, there’s really nothing to stop me from seeing it.
I’m writing this at 2:30am. We’ll see how that goes. This all points to the routine bit, but I need a bedtime and I need to stick to it.
I blurred the lines between self-help and actual behavioral economics. I’m letting the former go. I really need to pick up some more fiction, if we’re being honest.
It’s one thing to be heard and felt and to know we’re not alone in our experience. It’s another thing to have to explain and petition and shuck and jive to everyone about everything you do all the time as if you need their approval.
Let me tell y’all something. I love my mama. But even Toni Butts don’t tell me what I can or cannot do nor does she have me explain anything to her at all. So what I look like out here trying to explain myself to folks who don’t got nothing to do what I got going on? Nothing. Nothing at all.
2025 was a lovely year, all things considered. I look forward to the next year of my life and am praising God in advance for what He's going to do. I remain encouraged that my best days are truly yet to come and humbled that I get to live this life at all. I am grateful and do not take anything for granted.
Happy new year from The Disco!
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