Easy No's and Yes...Damn's

Two more tools in your resource management toolbox, a gift from me to you <3

Training and saving have recently made me think deeply about resource management and how I can make my life a little easier.

I want to feel confident about how I manage my resources, both money and time, knowing I’m doing my best to align with my goals. I also want to take out the manual, time-consuming deliberation behind each decision, as I know for a fact there must be an easier way.

Alongside accepting that building new behaviors takes time and we all have limitations we must acknowledge, here are two strategies I’m using these days to feel more thoughtful and connected to how I spend what I’ve got.

Easy No’s

One day, I noticed an invitation in my inbox for a 5-course family-style dinner series hosted by a writer and chef I briefly followed last year. A seat is $125.

I love dinner parties, meeting new people, gathering inspiration, and exploring unique culinary practices. Last year, I attended a few paid dinner parties and made lasting connections. But what was an easy yes last summer has turned into an easy no.

An easy no is a quick decision not to invest resources. This system helps when feeling overwhelmed by numerous ways to spend time, energy, and money. That day, I realized the dinner party, though interesting, wasn't worth the investment. Identifying what's worth it to you protects your resources for more complex decisions.

By not going to that dinner party, I freed up an evening and saved money for something else, like a wetsuit for my triathlon or a hangout with a new friend. Easy no's are useful before committing, but once I say yes, it's harder for me to back out.


Yes…Damn is a cognitive bias that occurs when you agree to something that’s far off in time, (because you assume you’ll be more interested, able, or better equipped), and later regret agreeing to it all.

This almost exclusively happens to me with parties.

I abhor loud, dark, and crowded social environments. But occasionally, I'm enticed to agree to one. “Maybe I’ll enjoy this DJ!” I think when I see a party flyer. “Maybe I’ll meet interesting people and make new friends!” I ponder.

I buy my ticket, put on some clothes, and go. But attending these parties rarely brings me joy.

Why do I do this to myself? Because I assume my future self will somehow loathe dark, crowded, loud spaces less than I do now. I assume I'll tolerate it better, despite constant reminders in my early twenties that I don't find it tolerable at all.

This is not to say never take a risk or that we’re not capable of changing our interests over time. I do that all the time and, transparently, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Taking risks is what leads to growth, self-development, and more enriching lives and I hope to continue taking risks and growing from them for the rest of my life.

What I am saying is that if you wouldn’t do something now due to a deep-seated self-awareness of a core part of who you are, then your future self probably wouldn’t want to do it either. And to expect them to somehow fundamentally change just because you spent $20 on a ticket today isn’t fair at all.

Put 2 and 2 together

So how exactly can you implement these two ideas to feel more in control of your time and more thoughtful in your decisions?

Here’s a few questions to ask yourself:

  1. Is this a meaningful or beneficial use of my resources?
  2. Could my resources be better used for something else that is more aligned with my values, interests, or goals?
  3. Do I have to choose whether I’ll do this or is there an opportunity for me to do this at a different time? (When, not whether?)
  4. Do I have what I need to fully enjoy this?
  5. If I don’t find this enjoyable now, is there any evidence that I will enjoy this once the time comes?

Sometimes disappointment can’t be avoided. There’s always a risk when trying new things or even doing old things under new circumstances. But those disappointments are simply a part of the same experience that yields pleasant surprises and joy-filled memories.

It’s all a part of the game, friends. I just want to play a little smarter.

Thalia is trying to have fun and achieve her (many) goals and doing that at the same time is wild.